Thoughts on things with Paul Hunt Baby Camera

Camera Phone
Observations

The following "Mini Articles" are REAL photos that I took within the past month with my camera phone. It is proof that humor is all around us. It isn't a matter of where you look, but rather a matter of how messed up you are in your own head when looking upon these things.

Mini-Article 1: "Baby Camel Feet"

The above picture (taken from a local daycare window) from a distance seems benign. After all, what is wrong with a little Hispanic girl on a poorly drawn swing? Look a little closer... now ask yourself "which way is this girl facing?". Up top it would appear she is facing the camera.. but then down below it seems as if the little butt-crack signifies that she is facing the other way. Now I ask "what child can swing one way, and FACE the other?". The answer is: NONE. It is impossible short of breaking the Dora the Explorer's little spine right in the center and then super gluing her lifeless hands to the ropes of the swing. This of course brings up the problem making her smile, which is probably not happening once the spine breaks... so we'll assume thats not the case.

So for now we'll assume this is an artistic error. Originally I thought that the child's legs MUST have been facing the other way, and the butt crack was drawn in an effort to be cute or something along those lines. This however has been determined to NOT be the case and thus the artist has drawn a "crack" of a different kind. The kind of crack that should never be drawn on the crotch of a young girl (Hispanic or not) unless you live in Holland. Which leaves only ONE explanation. And that is DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILD TO THIS PERVERT'S DAYCARE. Unless you feel it is acceptable to depict small girls on the front of such an establishment swinging away with a BLATANT CAMEL TOE in plain view of the public. Gross.

Mini-Article 2: "Spanish Poison"

In my last article we discussed Dora the Explorer's private parts (yes literally). Today we are sticking with the Hispanic theme as we discuss the dangers of commercial grade cleaning products.

Notice the above bottle to your right. As expected (and required by the FDA) there is a warning label about the potential harmful effects of ingestion. It is explained in English and in Spanish. But there is a problem...

If you are having trouble reading the Spanish section you have probably just assumed that it says the exact same thing as the English portion. And you would be 100% wrong. Here is the translation:

"If you cannot read in English, ask your supervisor on the apropriate instructions of use before working with this product."

So basically, if you are a Mexican kitchen employee ... and you splash some of this into your eyes.. and maybe ate some.. your next step should be to remember what your English speaking supervisor told you prior to working with the chemical..... Yeah, because you will probably remember to do that as your retinas melt into your skull.

Actual translation:

"We would like to translate the safety instructions, but we just don't care enough to pay someone to translate the whole thing... so instead we have decided to translate just as much text only to let you know that you are screwed. In short: Good Luck F#%KER.